you're going to need a few things. a god-plant, a small sharp knife and a peeler. you should be able to get these things in your kitchen, or go to the store and buy all new material. maybe your mom or dad will help you.
	first, peel the god-plant. take care to peel into the sink and away from your puny mortal hands and fingers.
now, pick a top and a bottom. trim the "bottom" to be as flat as you can, leaving enough room for later.
	how does your god look? is he/she a happy god? angry? maybe your god likes puppies, but not lizards. never lizards. the face of your god makes up the majority of it's body, so it's important to know how you want it to look.
	use the peeler and the knife (if you think you need it) and work on the face. get the excess body out, trim as you need to, making sure to remember what your god is thinking, and that he/she is watching you create him/her. i reccomend making the eyes last, that way your god won't see any errors you make, nor will it see any gods you may have messed up whilst creating and thrown in the trash.
now, wash your god. make sure to get the water in and all around it, rubbing away any little pieces of skin you may have missed. doesn't he look cute in that towel? like a tiny baby, ready to rule over your entire life with awsome power!
	take care and use the knife to cut the bottom of your god. make a slant, towards the back, that way your god can stand easily and watch all things around it.
wash it once more and then stand it up. feel that? that's power! your god is done. place him and worship! soon he will no doubt summon ants and other minions.
	hail, mousoraun, lord of the mouse!

it's important to know that if you don't please your god, it will turn brown. and then it'll try to kill you or maybe take over your body or something.

now that you've carved your god, and you know he's watching you and has powers, you might want to consider giving him gifts. maybe a few toothpicks for arms, or a spoon for a staff? a feather in it's head, or some color? i wouldn't go that far, but maybe if you're retarded you might.

try putting a quarter in his mouth and maybe he will grant you money and jewels. maybe if you give him easter chicks he will help you lose weight. or he could kill you, it's really more of a gamble. good luck!

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